Thursday, June 24, 2010
Another step toward adulthood and I can't help but feel its all too soon, yet can't contain my joy. I've been thinking too much lately. The Scorpio's curse is to go through a cycle of Death and Rebirth, as U might be able tor to find than I thought tell I'm going through the Death part right about now. Unsure as to who I am and what I want just for me. My sisters out there understand.
Been on edge, too much stress over everything. Maybe now is a good time to get over it and relax, and finally make a cherry pie. This Sarah person is harder to find than I thought. I feel consumed and alone.
My daughter will be having her first birthday soon. How time does fly and age right along with it. I used to think it would be beautiful to be 30, now, besides making myself a mad hatter cake, I'm all for not having even one more birthday.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Been having some strange thoughts lately, nothing worth mentioning yet though. The soup I made a while ago has been evolving into this great, amazing juice of life. No more pictures yet, don't want to bore you with same old stuff. Have been perfecting this for 2 weeks and I think its perfect.
Going to a distant land this weekend. Can you guess where? FALON. Top Fuel will be acceding and my husband will be requesting mine and my sons presence at the loudest show I know about. An adventure to say the least, but not feeling it. I hate loud noises and I am not into cars. We will see.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Boy do I miss the simple times as a kid where I actualy cared what I put in my mouth.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
It was then that I realized we spread on spreadables because its fun, therapeutic. It makes us feel as if each one is special, a euphoria. But as we are animals, The cream cheese went right to my head. I abandoned the knife and began to dip, cracker in hand..hand in tub and cracker, whole, in mouth. Speed catching up. One after the other, and I thought, what a Revelation of our species. Our desire to be prim and dainty, to have all we enjoy to be meaningful and lovely. But in the end....we wind up face first, knuckles down in the cream cheese tub.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
OK so Guacamole doesn't really go with ham but with next day ham sandwiches its a go.
In between bites of emerald velvet we have been out and about looking at houses. Nothing so far, but thank goodness we have time to be picky.
Diet, not so good. being sick didn't eat...better I cant seem to fork it in fast enough. So once again, its back on the wagon tomorrow. Maybe I should just cook organic vegetarian food. The little lady is talking up a storm and crawling all over the house. I think she needs a bell. Maybe then I could find her.
Up next its home made Carmel's. This will be a first for me. The Carmel's are just step one. Then it will be those gooey delights I talked about last time. If you have any requests please let me know I would love to make something new and different.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
From 9pm to 2am he was so worn out and empty that he finally settled down for bed. As I lay on the floor of his room, 9 month old clinging close I tried to catch what ever zzz's happened to creep in. Then without warning the sun came up and I found myself in the bathroom with a case of the copy cats. No food for us for 24 hours, it was coming out both ends with no sign of stopping. Two kids under 4, sickness, crying, and hours of sleep....we are finally feeling like our old selves 2 days later.
I recently saw someone I haven't seen in what feels like forever. My long lost brother came by to chat about all he has been up to. A student of the culinary arts, and a busy apprentice, we do not get together much so when we did the thoughts and feelings pent up for months came flooding out. It was a good thing to express myself, I have taken a cue from my husband and am speaking plainly. I will be honest to myself and say what I feel being honest to who I am without apology. No matter how unpopular it makes me.
I am also trying to ween my daughter at night. If it was anymore difficult I'd scream.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
It was great. I got to see my husband assult a tree...well several trees infact. Apparently he is a deadly knife fighter and I am just learning this. I'll say this, should we ever be attackted by anything slow moving and about his hieght, I'm safe as hell.
So tomorrow its back to reality, diet, job, and the routien. Sounds good to me.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I wonder if that is part of Sarah or is it part of me? I want something of my own, for me alone.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
So, much has passed in the weeks of electronic with drawl. The first to come to mind is a trip taken to Long Beach Ca. A trip long over due. Accompanied by my husband we drove down. The conversations we have while on a road trip are the most amazing. But once you hit that traffic that the beautiful state of California is so well know for, the talking becomes a growl. It was like a piece of chocolate covered deep fried cheese cake. I recommend listening to all those people who say " Spend some you time".
The Trial and Error of this recently discovered Baking Goddess has been upon me like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm. it seems the more i do the more each creation looks like something unrecognisable. I try to muster the magic and creativity that once flowed from my bag to find I have turned my intentions to crap.
I made some horrific cucakes for my aunt to take to work, they will not be featured in this blog for fear of recognition in the hood. Tried to count calories and did that job till i passed out. I ate way too much. So what does the american woman do, we bake.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Who ever thought of this wonderful concoction shall live in me as a god among men. The green gem I devoured was simple and pure, but alas no picture for it was MIA all too quickly.
A happy mothers day to all out there.The great thing about mothers day is spending it with your family over a recently accosted cake made by yours truly. I need mention a recent development. Yes I am still trying to stop my self from gorging on goods, but we are in the process of buying a house. I can barely believe it. Ofcorse my dream home is not available shall we say so I will take the next best thing. Wish me luck.
Haven't felt the call of the sugar gods lately. The children keep most of my time, and I can't seem to catch up on sleep. Has anyone found this blog? I am starting to feel the need for the vein satisfaction of having fans. And no D, you don't count! But are much appreciated.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Today I start a work out regime and a diet. No more excuses like "you just had a baby" or "i don't have time with house work and 2 kids". There is an ever nagging little fairy that sits on my shoulder saying "do it tomorrow, you have time...relax". I really want to listen.
Not as rough as I thought.Eating well has never been, but working out...it's like weights on my feet in a pool full of sand. Doesn't help having a 3yr old and a 8 month old either. But there are those excuses again. But is that one really? Or is it truth?I like to think its more FACT than anything else. Trying to go from couch to 5k in 2 1/2 months. Not that this Blog will be all about weight. It will consist of randomness, adventures, and baked goods. Just trying to help you know me a little better so when I go off on a tangent, you'll understand. It's a little for me as well.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sarah was funny, sweet, lovable and good at everything. She could do no wrong and knew exactly who she was growing up to be. Full of hope and magic the likes the world was not ready for.
But then, we grow up and everything changes. We learn about insecurities and heart break, and all too soon become aware that we are not that fire fighter or princess. Its time to figure out what we are doing with our lives and how we are going to live them. That's where I come in.
I am a stay at home mom of two amazing children, a wife to a good honest man, and disgruntled owner of a chocolate lab. In this blog I will be honest and real. Taking it day by day as I Search for Sarah.